Dear Matt,

A question about motivation, which is something I struggle with. What do you do to get motivated and stay motivated?

Bump Enderow

Dear Bump,

Motivation is over-rated. There’s a big difference being FOCUSED and being motivated.

Give me someone who is quietly focused and gets the job done and I’ll take that person over someone who is rah-rah-rah but can’t finish nuthin.

Yesterday my daughter, Faith, asked me how she can increase her motivation to write and workout each day, especially when she feels tired after getting off work. My answer, “Forget about motivation and focus on being focused. Write when you’re tired. Workout when you’re tired – and you won’t be tired.”

I also showed Faith some of the notes I “journal” to begin each day. She was amazed at how often I started out with words such as “I feel tired,” or “I don’t feel like writing today.”

Feelings are tricksters.

Feelings don’t tell the whole story.

Feelings also flip, and quickly, when you start doing something that you’d rather resist or avoid.

Don’t want to go for a walk because you feel tired? Then start walking and within a few minutes you’ll want to keep going.

The same is true with everything – including writing.

Motivation strikes when you have momentum.

You get momentum when you give yourself a small action step instead of a gigantic one. Showing up is more than half the battle.

I hate manual labor. I’m not motivated to cut the grass, much less pull weeds. I can easily hire someone else to do this for me and probably should. Then again, this manual labor does my brain and body a lot of good. Within minutes of getting started, it’s hard for me to stop, and what’s most amazing is that while I’m focused on this labor, I’m enjoying what I thought I hated.

When you focus on getting started, a surge of momentum comes along which can lead to the feeling of being motivated – yet it happens without you focusing on motivation.

Focus on being focused and motivation will take care of itself.

Matt Furey

Yo Matt.

My son is playing ball up here in New York. And he can’t relax during clutch moments. What can he do to relax and win during these critical moments?

Sal Good

Yo Sal,

Gotta say this is the first time I’ve ever been addressed with a “Yo.” Normally, this alone would get you tossed, but I guess I’ve lost enough hair to let this one go.

Anyway, I reckon your son has never driven a car with a clutch, so he may not get the metaphor if you tell him to take his foot OFF the clutch – not to mention the brakes.

Being clutch is about seeing yourself hitting or sinking a game winner, yet doing so with a spirit of cool and calm. This reflex comes naturally for some, but not for others. Yet it can be trained – and the time to train it is NOT during the game itself.

Each day you practice the “calm mind-calm body” technique as spelled out in the Zero Resistance Living course. First you practice while sitting or lying. But for your son, he then needs to take it to the next level and practice while standing on the court or field.

He’s got to be able to take a deep breath – and while exhaling give his mind-body the command to relax. While doing so, the non-clutch tension will drain out of his body so he can move with natural-ease.

I taught this technique to a baseball player from Ohio who got the go ahead and walk-off hit to help his team win the state championship. The boy, Michael, was freaking out a week before the state championships, but once he trained himself to calm down, he crushed it.

This means it’s not about having the “clutch gene,” as much as it is activating it.

All of us have an inner winner, but if you’re “trying”, it won’t get activated.

The secret is “trying easier” – not harder – as hard work alone hardly ever works.

Matt Furey

Fear is often viewed as our worst enemy; as nothing but “false evidence appearing real.”

But when we take time to look at all the evidence, fear is also a valuable friend.

When fear is irrational it can make you freeze, to give less than you’re capable of. When fear is rational it protects you from harm.

The bravest skydivers jump out of planes with parachutes on for rational reasons.

A trial attorney prepares a case before going to court for rational reasons.

Surgeons have their patients sign waivers before a procedure for rational reasons.

Champion athletes control fear when they practice physically for long hours and visualize victory prior to competition.

In each of these cases, rational fear helps you prepare for and overcome the worst possible outcome.

Eradicate irrational fears whenever and wherever you see them operating in your life. Minimize paralyzing, freezing fears on the screen of your mind; but embrace your rational fears as they are there to help you accomplish your goals.

Matt Furey