Dear Matt,
I’ve been suffering with an addiction known as PMO. Each time I engage in it I feel horrible afterward. I tell myself I’m not going to do it again, then the urge becomes overpowering and I fall victim to it again. Any suggestions?
A.
Dear A.
This is where you can begin to exercise your “won’t power.”
You do the opposite of the Nike slogan and… “Just Don’t Do It.”
It’s one thing to have positive goals that you pursue; goals where you want to be able to say, “Look what I created.”
It’s another to feel subject to default goals that you didn’t formally declare. Although you’ve been exercising your will power to overcome this addiction, will power is no match for won’t power.
You exercise won’t power by seeing and declaring what you WON’T do anymore. You see yourself walking away from the screen and the fakery. You forgive yourself and recognize that a much Higher Power loves you and forgives you, too.
Begin with a one day goal, as in, “I won’t do XXX today.”
Don’t just say it, either. Picture yourself NOT doing and keep score of your progress by recording how many days in a row you’ve exercised your “Just Don’t Do It” power.
Replace the old habit with a new one. Do something else with your hands. Keep them engaged in reading, writing, drawing, cooking, cleaning, gardening and so on.
I would also encourage you to read today’s entry (June 19) in Psycho-Cybernetics 365 – which is about “being used” by an addiction. Read a page each morning when you get up. At the top of each page is a quote from Dr. Maltz, followed by my commentary.
I read a page each day myself, and I wrote the book. What does that tell you?
Keep me posted on your “won’t power” progress.
And remember, Just Don’t Do It!
Matt Furey
